Up until my second year of high school,
I allowed myself to believe that I wasn’t like other girls
as if there was something fundamentally wrong with other girls
that I had to disinherit.

I used ‘girly girl’ as an insult
like the carefully applied foundation, the long-learned eyeliner
the too-bright lipstick they nearly missed their bus to put on
made them less.

Unlearning was a slow process that I’m still slogging through.
I catch myself raising my eyebrows at a girl on the other side of the room
and have to make myself remember it doesn’t mean shit.
Femininity is not a synonym with stupid or frivolous or weak;
I’ve seen girls who can shiv with a high-heel and look great doing it
or they can sweat and grunt and spit and not give a damn either way.

Your worth is not a win-or-lose depending on if your skirt goes below your knees.

Whether makeup or a bare face or fake eyelashes so heavy you have to squint
a long dress or inch-long skirt or jeans that rip at the knee or shorts that flash your underwear
dreadlocks or metal ear-stretchers or leggings without pants or bedazzled neon nails
bikini or burqa or hair shaved in strips or long plaid shirts
a hoodie that needed washing three weeks ago or dangling earrings or worn out sneakers
a scarf to hide your adam’s apple or sunglasses that cover half your face
braces or glasses or pigtails or a jagged pink mohawk or eighteen clearly visible tattoos-

Wear it as battle armour.

'You'll Get Shit For It Anyway,' theappleppielifestyle. (via theappleppielifestyle)



PSA TO PEOPLE WHO THINK QUEERBAITING IS HAPPENING ON HANNIBAL: in my opinion, one of the key ingredients of queerbaiting is for the writers, actors, show runners, etc. to vehemently defend the heterosexuality of the characters and make fans feel stupid for believing anything to the contrary. at this point, i’m fully convinced hannibal is queer. i don’t need to see him make out with a dude for confirmation. and if the nbchannibal account wants to “loudly imply hannigram” i don’t think they’re poking fun, i think they’re actually saying that hannibal’s interested in will and that it’s ok for fans to think that too.

It’s great that you don’t need explicit confirmation, but the majority of the world does. It’s hard to feel validated by something if you have to get into deep, interpretive shit for it to even be there. 

Are they queerbaiting? No, not really. Queerbaiting is largely intentional and malicious. Bryan Fuller et all are not malicious, nor are they intending to build a fandom with the promise of queer characters, only to back track later. 

HOWEVER, the way the relationship between Hannibal and Will is portrayed can and is having the same EFFECT as if they were queerbaiting. The lack of malicious intent makes this a correctable error and provides hope an reassurance, but it does not change the damaging effect.

I don’t even feel like it needs to be maliciously done to be queer baiting. I think any show that uses the subtle techniques which indicate two characters are romantically/sexually interested in one another (body language, coy phrasing, editing etc) continually and then never follows through or does anything with that in a serious way, is queer baiting. They are using (intentionally or not) the allure which queer people find in seeing versions of non-hetero romance/sexuality being played out on tv, but never actually delivering on those promises. 

That said I love Hannibal and I think Bryan Fuller is pretty great, so hopefully the show won’t go far down that road without addressing the obvious sexual tension which is being played out between Hannibal and Will.

Suicidal feelings are not the same as giving up on life. Suicidal feelings often express a powerful and overwhelming need for a different life. Suicidal feelings can mean, in a desperate and unyielding way, a demand for something new. Listen to someone who is suicidal and you often hear a need for change so important, so indispensable, that they would rather die than go on living without the change. And when the person feels powerless to make that change happen, they become suicidal.

Help comes when the person identifies the change they want and starts to believe it can actually happen. Whether it is overcoming an impossible family situation, making a career or study change, standing up to an oppressor, gaining relief from chronic physical pain, igniting creative inspiration, feeling less alone, or beginning to value their self worth, at the root of suicidal feelings is often powerlessness to change your life – not giving up on life itself.

Will Hall, Living with suicidal feelings (via madness-narrative)

these are incredible words. I have never been able to articulate this. 

(via homoarigato)


sometimes I kiss people I shouldn’t kiss and let them unbutton my jeans sometimes I leave English class without asking and walk in angular circles until I can hear the blood rushing under my skin sometimes I run until I can’t breathe sometimes I sit in the rain sometimes I sleep for six hours in the middle of the day

sometimes I drive too fast and listen to my music so loud that it hurts sometimes I drink until everything goes black and I don’t remember talking about you all night (even though I do)

sometimes I cry about books and about people who died hundreds of years ago sometimes I don’t cry even though I want to more than anything sometimes I ignore the people I love sometimes hold myself to keep everything in because you are not here to do it

sometimes I think I’m alive sometimes I think I probably never will be